Heart of Hearts: Love Poems 2

Note: This is an image of indigo blobs which are the nuclei of heart muscle cells as discovered by Scott Metzler at Stanford University

I Offer Love

May, 1985

 

unconditionally

no response is necessary

just wrap yourself in my love

listen to it

touch it

try to contain it

and watch it

it will evade all understanding

all reason

all rules

the only law it knows is...

it exists

The Eyes of Love

July, 1995

 

transportation

to get from here to there

how funny

there is no distance between you and me

there is nothing that separates us

no walls

no fences

to keep each other out

the eyes of love see right through

 

A Sense of Love

 June, 1983

expectations

promises

words that fall so short

of the expressions of Love

instead

a simple knowing

what is real

what is lasting

what is true

Love

as expressed

in me and you

 Love's Ritual

June, 1992

dance with me

you lead

I follow happily

then I lead

lightly we learn to spin and twirl

new steps

new rhythm

can two people dance

without a leader?

on that rare occasion

when they lose themselves

and become the music

they become One

the dance is magic

pure and strong

the dance is Love

Your Loving Ways

 November, 1978

pleasing are the ways

of your love

your voice grows soft

your heart opens wide

judgement falls away

and the love and its magic

shines in

 

Completeness

August, 1980

Anembrace...

Amemory...vivid and lingering

Afeeling...warm and sincere

Athought...spontaneous and incomplete

Abeginning...sought and found

Areminder...farewells are necessary before meeting again

Apart...meeting again is certain for true friends

Anticipating...completeness

Anembrace...

New Moon and A Lot Light

Wow! Are you a believer in Astrology? I am a believer but not a follower. I believe the planets have an influence in what happens on earth. I just do not understand the dynamics and interactions. I guess you could say that I am like many of the mainstream beings who believe but do not understand.

I would like to cite a source (website) that does believe, does understand and does try to convey the insight and information gained from a study of interactions, alignments and retrogrades. This site is:  

thepowerpath.com. It is a website called The Power Path.

They, whoever they are (they are in Santa Fe), have been so right on (for us) numerous times. For example, in October of 2011 they warned:  "The image is that of facing a well-known view, in fact a view you have become so accustomed to you hardly notice it anymore. And now you have just realized that you are turning away from this view 90 degrees to the right and leaving it completely behind in order to face a new view. Suddenly it dawns on you that the old view will be gone forever, never to be seen again in the same way. There is nostalgia around the permanence of the loss of this old view. It is familiar to you and it has served to inspire, entertain, give you feedback and be a placeholder in your life. You realize that once you turn towards the new view the old one is gone forever. And despite the inadequacies of the old view in matching a new time, there is a resistance to giving it up and turning towards the unknown. What if the new view isn't as good as the old one? What if you won't be able to see the new view? What if it is not a clear view, or an inspiring one? What if there is no new view?" And, they were 100% right on. The evening before we read the above projecction, we changed our long time plans to stay in Santa Fe, NM and decided (out of the blue) to move to Idyllwild, CA. This was a 90 degree turn to the right (not wrong). 


In August of 2012, the writer states: " The theme for August is POWER. There are many ways to work with a theme of power and for this month it is more about looking at where you give your power away and then changing that behavior or pattern. It is also about learning to empower your desires from within rather than always looking to a greater power outside yourself to make things happen. This is a great month to revisit the idea of power and energy leaks and to spend some intentional time reworking your patterns in these areas."

On August 17: "The New Moon is at 9:54 AM Mountain Daylight Time. Practice gratitude above all else. Stay out of judgment and watch any negative thoughts. This new moon is like a reset button so be careful where and what you reset. Where your thoughts are is where you will reset. It is also best not to be around others who are contradictory, negative and uninspired. As always with any of the powerful moon times it is a good idea to honor them by being out in nature for a bit."

These last few days, August 14-17, have been particularly challenging in terms of our relationship. The writers tell us: " A good practice to do with regards to relationships is the practice of giving acknowledgment, attention, acceptance, freedom and choice to others. Give it without expecting anything back. This gets you away from focusing on yourself and into the service of empowering others. By eliminating the expectation you also make yourself available for that experience to come to you in ways maybe you never imagined." Again, these comments express a wisdom worthy of recognizing and incorporating into our relationship. 



Once again, right on. So the new moon in August is about light, heat and energy.

 

Leo New Moon: Sun and Moon in Leo – 25º,  August 17, 2012 9:56 AM MDT.

"I Am Leo! Hear me roar! Beginning a new cycle in Leo means focusing on the Sun, our hearts, our will, vitality, and our purpose in this life. Leo is where our joie de vivre and our full creative expression of the self reside. The pure joy of expressing who we are in this body, in this lifetime is the gift of the Sun-ruled, King of Beasts. The Sun God, long worshiped as the source of life by so many cultures with its light, heat, and energy sustaining life on our planet, is our teacher now.   A daily practice of pointing your own heart towards the early morning Sun and absorbing the electro-magnetic energy and encoding of information into your being will help keep you aligned with the rapid changes taking place in our solar system." Leo the sun, the light and new moon of little light combine to bring us insight worth considering.

Have I become a believer in Astrology? No more than ever before however I respect the ability of the creators and writer(s) to be "right on". I respect their gifts and pay attention to their wisdom (regardless of the source).

Winning is for everyone!

100% of Everything I Know

Make a dance of everything you do, listen to the music deep inside of you.

It’s not hard work that kills you, it’s your attitude.

Make a dance of everything you do.

Make a dance of everything you do.

It’s not hard work that kills you, it’s your attitude.

Have fun, enjoy and listen to the music deep inside of you.

We have just finished another summer Olympic Games and there was a lot of interest by individuals of every age in every part of the world. The focus during the games seemed to be on the winners and little is mentioned about the others involved. This is unfortunate. The Olympic Games is the showcase for the highly competitive, highly skilled and highly driven "athletes" of the world. But, what about everyone else? Who are the real winners? What does it take to be a winner regardless of your age, your gender, your country, or your challenge?

I have been a successful athlete. I have been a successful coach. I have taught Physical Education involving games, sports and physical challenges for many years. I have directed my own Sports Camp for children ages 5-11. I know about competition and I know about winning.

As a teacher and coach I was a winner because I taught my students and my athletes that winning is not about the numbers on the scoreboard but instead winning is about the amount of effort and desire expended within a competition. The cliche, "leave it on the court" if practiced will result in a winning effort. In addition, winning is about respect; respect for yourself, your teammates, your opponents, your coaches, the officials and for your parents or guardians who always supported you.

My summer sports camp was always full and always had a long waiting list. My formula for success surprised most parents and participants. They would ask, so this camp is called "Partners in Play" what is it really about? Will my child learn sport skills? I would give a quick and confident response: this camp is about kindness...nothing more said. Without exception, the parents would say great; where do I sign up my child?

Winning involves both mental and physical ability. It does not matter who finishes first or what the score in the end happened to be. What matters is how hard the participants tried to succeed; how good of sports they were and how good a teammate they were at all times. Applying this formula to winning is a win-win. Everyone wins. Everyone feels like a winner and everyone supports and encourages everyone else, even the opponent. I know I was a winner before the game or competition ever began.

One of my fondest memories came in Seaside, Oregon following the Seaside Marathon (one of 50 marathons that I have run). The race was run in a driving rain, wind and hail storm. I finished 300 out of 5000 runners (not too shabby). After the race, while walking along the seawall an older lady stopped me and asked, "Sonny, did you win?" I started to say "no, but thank you for asking" but instead I said "yes and thank you asking" and kept on walking with a huge smile on my face. I had trained hard and long for the event. I had spent countless hours preparing. I sacrificed a lot of the otherwise special moments of enjoying life with my family and friends. The truth is, I was a winner the moment I lined up to start the race. Those values of effort, sacrifice, respect and desire had carried me both to the finish line AND to the starting line (the most important phase of the race). I was; I am and I will always be a winner. Anyone can be a winner. Be a player not a spectator. Be in the race of life. Give it your best and persevere to the end knowing you have won by just showing up. Be proud. Be respectful. Be kind to yourself and all others!

So go for it!

Living on the edge...

Note: This was photographed from our "rock" in May, 2012

Living on the edge has some real advantages as well as a few challenges.When you live on the edge you have a view of life unlike the majority of others who live the "normal" life. Living on the edge simply means that you challenge yourself to go further; to reach higher; be break free of restraints; to be unique and to take risks that you (and most others) would rather not take. When you live on the edge you must trust the process and have faith that you will not only be safe but that you will experience meaningful moments to help you on your journey through this life.

    Note: This photo was taken from our deck in June, 2012. In the center of the picture, Mr. Coyote is getting a nice drink.   

Living on the edge is an adventure. There can be dangers. It is important that you pay attention to everything and everyone around you. Be aware! Be calm and be confident.

Note: We live on the edge of the National Forest and many creatures share our space with us. This photo was taken in July, 2012.

When you live on the edge you have experiences that others who are not risk takers are not able to enjoy. There are surprises and challenges every day. Mother Nature strongly influences the area where we live. There is beauty, serenity, wild creatures of all kinds and constant exposure to the elements e.g. wind, sun, snow, and fire as shown by the following pictures.                                             

 

        Note: I took this photo in March of 2012.         

Note: I took this photo 8/14/12 looking out at the 3500 acre Buck Fire (7 miles away).  

I choose to be and to go where few others choose to be or to go. By being a risk-taker, I have had experiences that I could never duplicate, explain or describe. I choose not to live in fear of the unknown and, as I have stated many times, I choose to follow my heart and my heart leads me to the beautiful and unforgettable. There are those who choose to live life in a closet, which granted, seems like a pretty safe place but their description of living is confined, restricted and diminished. Change is made by those who discover the alternative to the norm. I am ever changing (and growing); I am not stuck in the main stream of life. I choose to live on the edge with purpose and intent. The journey is my reward.

                               

A View of Retirement

Note: This photograph was taken from our cabin deck in Idyllwild, CA.

I have been trying to retire for the past six years. I've tried to do it on a couple of occasions. Instead of doing so, I kept jumping back into my work because my services were requested by a number of schools and the extra income helped build up our retirement fund account. In December of 2011, I finally and fully retired. The actual and final leap slowly came about as my wife and I got more comfortable with our financial situation. Now that I have actually retired, I am evolving a perspective and gaining the experience that allows me to comment on the realities and challenges of retirement.  

I am in my early seventies and in relatively good health. I am looking forward to many years of active enjoyment of my life without any work-related commitments. Yet to be honest, I certainly have expectations relating to my new found "free time" and leisurely lifestyle. For example, I planned on seeing our children and grandchildren more often; I planned on traveling much more than in the past; I hoped to spend more time with my wife; I hoped to spend more time on projects and completing unfinished personal goals and, finally,  I hoped that I would be more relaxed and less stressed.

Funny thing ... some of these expectations have yet to become reality. I am hoping that this fact will change and that my expectations will become reality. True, there have been a few exceptions but for the most part these last few months of full retirement have not brought a significant increase in the amount of time spent with our children or grandchildren and we have not done any traveling at all! This is probably no one's fault but our own and due to a number of acceptable and understandable reasons. True, I have spent a lot more time with my wife but this has not been as blissful as it may seem. For us, spending a lot of time together has brought up the need to differentiate, spend time a part, and to have quiet time alone when we can work or do whatever we wish to be doing. We are currently working on this issue and it should get better for both of us. On a real positive note, I have had a good deal of time to spend pursuing some of the things that I enjoy doing and this blog would be an example of this emerging aspect of my life. Finally, I am more relaxed and there is much less stress in my life.Overall, there has been progress and retirement is becoming more and more of a pleasurable place to be in life.Yet, in spite of these few positive experiences and some progress, retirement remains a challenge for me. 

As it is often noted by others, the transition into full retirement can be challenging. True, for most of us who finally retire, the financial challenges are a major question mark and concern. For a variety of reasons, my wife and I did not have a huge "nest egg" available to supplement our Social Security income. The majority of our other income has been generated from sources that we have acquired during the last twenty years. The key thing about this for anyone else considering retirement or concerned about the finances of retirement, is that we have planned well enough to enjoy a retirement lifestyle that is much like that of our pre-retirement years. I think this is what most retirees would hope to achieve. So, for us, the financial concerns about retirement do not really exist. I must add, however, that we strictly follow our monthly and yearly budget guidelines and have a great supplemental health insurance plan (AARP) that along with Medicare covers most, if not all, of our medical expenses.

The most difficult challenge for us has been dealing with the transition from working full-time, enjoying our work,  receiving personal recognition and satisfaction from being educators. In addition, we had an extensive network and community of co-workers and friends that were work-related. Because we chose to relocate, they, for the most part, no longer exist. Be prepared: a retirement lifestyle is completely different from a work-centered lifestyle. Sitting out Whale Rock in our backyard enjoying the sunset and view is much less stressful than dealing with school districts, supervisors, students and parents BUT it does not include any of the aspects of our former lives that existed for a long time. In addition, we are challenged by the freedom of less responsibility and fewer commitments.Our worth as persons is being challenged on a daily basis.

As mentioned, when we retired we also relocated to a new area of the country, a new community and into a new home. This certainly adds some challenges to our retirement moments. It takes a time to acclimate and to begin forming new associations/new friends, finding where and how we can continue to make contributions to the community and to the educational system where we now reside and to get beyond the "nest building" phase of our new life. 

The bottom-line for me and most other recent "retirees" is that retirement will be quite challenging, especially during the first year or two. It is very important to realize that you are still needed by others and that you still have contributions to make to your community. Retirement is, and will remain to be, a time for growth and enjoyment. True, it is nice to feel like you are finally being "rewarded" for all the years of service, long hours and hard work put into your life of work, but the full rewards of retirement will come along as you continue to serve. Serve yourself first, serve others and enjoy!   
    

  

Trusting the Process

Trust resides in the heart; fear lives in the mind. In our lifetimes, we are faced with so many challenging moments that bring up fear or, on the other hand, that teach us to trust the process. I have learned that the way of dealing with every challenge in my life resides somewhere in my heart. One of my favorite books (no longer in print) is Lanza del Vasto's The Principles and Precepts of the Return to the Obvious. As he explains, "The truth you are looking for is not at the end of road. It is everywhere; it is in you." Our heart knows the way!

I have learned, over and over again, to trust the process and to follow my heart. The most recent unexpected event relates to my blog. As I explained in my introductory post, I am new to this form of communication and publication. I have worked hard to get everything in its' right place and to make it sure it is functioning correctly. Once involved, I have enjoyed every minute of pulling things together from the past seventy-one years of my life and putting them all in one place for the world or just one other person to read. I have literally spent hours and hours of gathering resources and writing drafts. Then yesterday when I attempted to access my blog I received a notification indicating that my blog had been removed (by a security computer at the Blogspot server) due to violating the TOS (Terms of Service). It was gone and I did not how to communicate with Blogger to find out what happened and how I could get it back. I lost everything; every creative thought and expression and all of the time that I had spent creating the blog. Gone...

After a few frustrating minutes, I discovered how to reach Blogger Help. I sent a message into the Bloggesphere not knowing if it would ever be read. I got some weird responses and nothing helpful. I was dismayed but not daunted. I did think it was gone, probably forever. It meant a lot to me and it just disappeared, gone and, worse yet, I  could not talk to a living person who might be able to "fix" things.

So, I had been given a choice: be upset and angry or to just let go and be thankful for the opportunity to create the blog in the first place.

I did let go and literally "moved" on. My wife and I went into town to a blues festival. I danced the night away and the blog as well. Once again, like many times before, I did trust the process. I had fun and got the blog off my mind. I actually decided that the Universe might not want me to be spending countless hours at the computer creating and maintaining my blog. Maybe I needed to spend more time (I already spend a lot of time) in the mountains and exploring other outdoor environs around the area. I got comfortable with this thought and prepared to move on with my life and the addition of valuable spare time.

As it also has happened so many times in the past, once I let go (perhaps this was a test) it came back to me. Here is how I expressed it in a poem many years ago:

The Way of the Butterfly

 June, 1981

if you find a beautiful Butterfly,

love it, but let it be free.

if it stays, it was meant to be.

if it flies away, be thankful and go on,

better for having shared even a moment or two.

either way, you are certainly more beautiful

and the Butterfly is at least as beautiful

as when you discovered it.

if you love someone very much,

love them, but let them be free.

if they stay, it was meant to be.

if they leave and do not return,

they were not meant to be yours.

if they return, love them forever.

And so it was...I let go and it came back! This morning I was notified that my appeal had been read and the removal of my blog had, in fact, been a mistake! I am back and my heart is smiling.

Words With A View: Thoughtful Poems 1

Note: This a wonderful painting by the Northwest artist, Keith Powell. 

The set of poems in this post are influenced by my Native American heritage and by my many experiences teaching within Native communities in Washington and New Mexico. 

There Is a Reason

March, 1995

 Note: the above poem was written for Sam LeaderCharge

There is a light within the darkness.

There is a reason for all things.

There is a purpose above all else.

There is an answer to the question:

What’s this life all about?

Let the light shine through the darkness.

Let the will seek the reason.

Seek the understanding, it is to be discovered.

Open your heart to the Great Mystery.

In the darkest of moments,

It is possible to understand.

It is possible to gain wisdom.

There is something more important to learn.

Focus on the light within the darkness.

Understand your life is more than just living.

Know your soul is more important than life.

Use your heart to find the way.

There are dark moments.

Use them to gain understanding and power

Your soul has journeyed long and far

Walk toward the light and

Live the Truth of Your Being.

Counsel with Wolves

 May, 1995

 Note: This poem was inspired by a Keith Powell painting of the same name. 
I shared it with a friend who was leaving to attend the powerful 
International Women’s Conference held in late 1995 in Beijing, China.

They gathered in secret

They came with curiosity

They came with clarity

They gathered in peace

They spoke with compassion

They listened with interest

They listened with intent

They spoke from the heart

They listened with concern

They spoke of healing

They spoke of harmony

They listened with heart

They came from different tribes

They gathered because it was crucial

They gathered in the sacred circle

They came from the same Earth

“Wolf Spirit,” said the Small People

“We want to be sisters to you.

We want to understand the Great Mystery

Wolf Brother, be our Spirit Guide.”

“We have brought you a feather from our brother, the Eagle

We want to learn how we are all related.

We want to learn to live as one family.

We have brought our love and protection to you.”

“We seek your wisdom and knowledge.

We have brought our magic to you.

We have brought our gentleness for you.

We seek your courage and strength.”

“Wolf Spirit, we trust you.

We have watched you walk your path.

We have watched you persevere.

Wolf Brother, be a part of our family.”

They shared many things in many minutes.

They created a hoop that was to last many moons

They created a beginning of a new time.

They shared their dreams of a new world.

 On the Blue Path

October, 1995

 Note: This was inspired by a Keith Powell painting of the same title.

Hoyeh! I am the journey.

I follow my spirit on the path

I am surrounded by my spirit friends

I feel connected to everything around me

How can I fear what I am a part of?

Hoyeh! Light my way, Oh, Great Spirit

Hoyeh! I am the journey.

I journey in the forests of Life

I journey on the unknown path

There is much to learn

There is much to discover

Hoyeh! I journey forth.

Ho! I do not know where the path leads

I may not always be where I want to be

I know, however, that where ever I am,

I am on the path

Where I am, it is the perfect place

It is the place I need to be

Hoyeh! I am the journey.

I follow the Blue Path of Living

The Seeker

 June, 1995

Note: This poem was inspired by a Keith Powell painting of the same title.

He is Running Deer

He is a scout and a seeker

He brings life to the Earth People

He has strong medicine

He is alert and aware

He pays attention

He sees to the horizon and beyond

He sees around corners

He becomes the unseen in order to see

He becomes the quiet in order to hear

He appears and disappears

He changes his shape

He is as still as the grass

He never stops moving

He is focused

He does not give up

He flows with the forces

He is a mystery

He has few enemies

He has many friends

He has many spirit guides

He has one spirit brother

He is Running Deer

He is swift and gentle

He becomes the Wolf

He seeks a vision

What he sees saddens his heart

What he sees is a sign and warning

He watched the buffalo all disappear

He watched his people suffer

He watched Earth Mother being destroyed

He heard Sky Father cry out

“The spirit of the Earth is dying

When spirit dies, the Earth will die”

As Running Deer, he is the Seeker

As Wolf, he is the finder

He found a way to save the Earth

He found the sacred path

As Running Deer, the Scout

He shows Earth people the way inside the mountain

Is anyone else paying attention?

Does any one else care?

The Spirit of Life

November, 1997

Note: This poem was inspired by a short anonymous poem written in loving memory for Mr. Santiago Leo Coriz, a beloved Elder of the Santa Domingo Pueblo, who left behind a legacy of Life. I hope this poem gives both the original words to the poem and Mr. Coriz, the deep respect they deserve. Also, this poem always reminds of Chief Joseph who was interred and died on the Colville Reservation in Eastern Washington. The elders of the tribe know that Chief Joseph's body was secretly taken back to his home lands in the Wallowa Mountains of Eastern Oregon. 

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there.

I do not rest.

I am a hundred winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am a gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning light,

I am the songs of birds in flight.

When you walk in the forest quiet,

I am the stream leaping with life.

I am a thousand stars in the Milky Way.

I am the dust rising in the day.

I am the glimmer from the moon.

I am a little flower in bloom.

When you lie down to rest each night,

I am in your dreams until twilight.

When you look into the glowing fire,

I am the embers of burning desire.

I am a reflection of a million faces.

I am the partner of your many paces.

I am the laughter of children free.

I am a smile that longs to be.

When you face the mountains tall,

I am the reminder that you can achieve it all.

When you crawl through the valley of pain,

I am the cry of the eagle unnamed.

I am a brother to your many tears.

I am the heartbeat of happy years.

I am the clouds drifting by.

I am a portion of the deep blue sky.

So, do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

Be Still No More

March, 2007

Note: I wrote this for my students at the Santa Fe Indian School. It was meant to inspire them to rise above and beyond the challenges that surrounded them in their attempts to live in two worlds.

I will be still no more.

I wish to share my world with you.

It is how I see it.

It is the way it is.

It is my truth.

Just listen.

It is my reality.

Just walk through it with me.

I cannot be quiet any more.

My world is not always a pretty world.

I did not choose it.

It is what it is.

This is the world I live in.

This is my experience.

Just hold my hand

And try to understand.

I want you to know me,

As I am.

I am brave and I am strong.

I can change my world because I know it is wrong;

Wrong for me;

Wrong for my family;

Wrong for my people; and

Wrong for my community.

So, I ask you to listen.

I ask you to stand with me.

Together, our voices can be loud.

We can live strong and proud.

Past is past.

Listen to me.

Today is a new day.

Please listen to what I have to say.